Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Lots of Bases to Cover

How's your week looking? Tomorrow, another job interview. Friday, 2 more. Cover all the bases you can.

Aside from that, we're still sticking to protecting ourself. Symptoms are still there, but our holsitic diet helps to have moments of some clarity.

How do you deal with paralyzing fear and abandoment? When it happens to us, it's like you're paralyzed. You literally can't move because you don't know what to do.

Severe body pain is still happening. Is it only due to to much acidic stuff in our diet? Or, is it a combination of that and backed up trauma flooding out? We think it's both.

We just try to keep in mind it's not our fault.

Sunday, February 24, 2013

Oscar Night

Working online tonight, and trying to focus on keeping our balance. There's a real sense of emptiness and abandonment at times. We keep in mind it's not our fault. We have no control over others. Screen everything to protect yourself.

Meditation and tai chi help to an extent to focus and build strength. Despite that, we still have to be careful to control symptoms. It still feels like we have to detoxify our diet more to keep the p/h balance okay.

Do you still have nightmares? We still do, and you can't just sit back and do nothing. Is it a nightmare or a lucid dream? We're not sure. The point is that you have to fight back.

NOTE: Thanks to the ongoing support, we're now read in almost all 50 states and 46 countries. Give our URL out to others as long as it doesn't endanger your healing or for anyone else.

Friday, February 22, 2013

It is Friday

Is it Friday? Here, it still is. East of Newfoundland, it's already Saturday. Let's see what happens.

We're covering bases and really trying to protect ourselves. Take things in ten second splits. Meditation and tai chi help in some ways. In others, we're trying to face the full reality of being raped as best we can. It's not our fault.

We're on the right track in our healing.

Thursday, February 21, 2013


How's your day/evening going? Here, it's snowstorms, budget cuts and who knows what else in the next 24 hours.

As for us, it's cover more job leads and protection comes first. It feels like at times there's a little more stability (thanks to the holistic diet, meditation and more). However, symptoms are still there as well. We also try to keep in mind we have no control over others. On the other hand, we will politely and firmly stand up for ourselves.

Maybe that's one of the hardest parts of dealing with the full reality of being raped: horrible abuse as well. It feels like (in person), 99% of the world couldn't care less. Despite that, you can't just sit back and do nothing. You have to fight to keep your balance.

Now, it's matter of protection. Not being bullied. Always have as many options as possible. As for the abuse, those that did it will never change. Nobody made them do this. They chose to.  Therefore, they have to live with that, not us.

You have to protect yourself.

Monday, February 18, 2013

Is Diet the Only Part of it?

Our awareness of the effects of things on us is very sharp right now. We still have symptoms and have to screen everything. Set boundaries and protect yourself. Cover all the bases.

Diet really plays a role in this. It feels like we can't handle anything acidic. 95% of the diet is alkaline(salads, herbal tea and more). We tried going veggie, and at that time it was too much. It just felt weird to not have protein in meat.

Keep your balance as best you can.

Saturday, February 16, 2013

Face Things Head On

We're really tired after a long day of covering job leads. We're also sticking with our holistic routine as well. Tai chi and meditation seem to complement each other. The idea being turn everything off, and just focus on your chi flow.

The tough part is anger, frustration and a sense of abandoment are still there. Also, severe body pain still happens in various areas. At times, you don't know where you are. We still have to fight to focus in the morning to not dissciate and feel awake. Aspirin doesn't work because the caffeine in it makes the pain worse.

What do you do?

We try to keep in mind that it's not our fault. We're covering everything we can. Create opportunities instead of the world coming to you. Also, we have no control over others. However, we will stand up for ourselves (without sinking down to their level).

Time for some herbal tea.

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Pace Yourself

Lots of bases to cover today. We start with the new counselor. Also, more job leads.

Some good news. The severe body pain has actually gone down some. It is connected to backed up trauma coming out. At times it's almost like you can't eat anything acidic without having a severe reaction. Is my system still that messed up?

Take things in small segments.

Sunday, February 10, 2013

A Lot All at Once

Sorry to be away for a while. However, it's been a hectic week.

I found the new fulltime job, and it started okay. Then almost two weeks later, the boss called, but didn't leave a voice mail. Bad sign. Two days later, I went back to work (knowing that business has been slow), and the store hours had been cut. Then, the boss called back and said I was laid off. The store manager (who the boss said she had told) had no idea.

Since then it's been a mix. Pick up the last check. Get two reference letters. Cover bases with social services. Deal with severe body pain from body memory of being raped. There's also not wanting to have to go back to borrowing money and losing control over my life.

If the job(s) aren't here but elsewhere, how do I get there without having to borrow money and losing control?

I can't live like that. Feeling like you're literally dependent on someone else for everything.

Body pain at times is almost debilitating. I'm doing meditation, Tai-chi, and sticking to my holistic diet. But the pain is still there.

I start with the new counselor this week. More as it happens.

Sunday, February 3, 2013

Super Bowl Tips

Yes, it is Super Bowl weekend. For our non-American readers, even if you're not that interested in the game itself, just time it right and you can enjoy all the free food and drinks. If some American says something and you're not quite sure what to say, just smile, nod and then go for seconds.

We still feel like the full reality of being raped is hitting us. Despair is there, and you try to potect yourself and others when necessary. The tolerance for chemicals just isn't there. It's like the healthier your system is the stronger the taste of sugar and other things becomes.

We're just trying to keep in mind it's not our fault. Keep your healthy balance as best you can. Protect yourself, because nobody else will do it for you.

Pace yourself with all the free food and drinks. Have a great day.

Friday, February 1, 2013

Keep Your Balance

We're struggling with the full severity of being raped. You feel like you're going to scream and fall apart. You try to keep your balance as best you can. Despite that, abandonment is still there.

How do you deal with that?